Are You Furnishing the Living Room While the Bedroom Stays Empty?
When I was growing up, if I made a mistake, anyone — even my neighbours — could correct me. My parents trusted that the neighbour was doing the right thing. Their children were raised the same way.
A child was raised by the entire village, not just the parents.
And I will say this clearly: being raised by the village made us who we are. It taught us respect, resilience, and responsibility for people beyond ourselves. It gave us an identity. Many of us carry that upbringing with us everywhere we go.
In that world, relationships were an investment. Showing up, giving generously, being seen to care — that was how families built their standing, and the community paid it back in belonging and support.
Today, that world is largely gone. Many of us left the village for the city, for work, for countries far away.
But here’s my question: did the instinct leave with us?
Walk into many African homes. Why does the living room have the best furniture, the best decor, everything “for visitors” while the bedroom, where we spend almost half our lives, is neglected? Who are we really furnishing for?
No culture is free of status spending. But notice the difference in the loudest question: in other cultures, it is “How can I design a life that works for me?” In ours, is it not often “How do I look to the people around me?”
That question would not leave me alone. So I went deeper into the data across Africa’s 10 largest economies — and what I found stunned me.
In 9 of the 10 biggest African economies, households spend 2 to 6 times more on what others see — weddings, funerals, ceremonies — than on what builds them: savings, education, housing. In Egypt, an average wedding costs about 175 months of income. That is 14 years of earnings. Gone in one day.
So I have to ask: are we furnishing the living room of our lives while the bedroom stays empty? Are we still investing in being seen long after the returns stopped coming?
I am not saying abandon the village — the village built us. But what if the real question is this: what kind of wealth would it take to actually take care of the village that took care of us?
So tell me — which room have you been furnishing lately: the living room or the bedroom?